As a life-long Mormon, the whole idea of agency has always been a part of my understanding. I learned about it in classes at church, through my own studies, and it’s actually one of the principles of the Gospel I love teaching the most. I truly believe it’s God’s way. Or, at least I did…
When my son told me he wasn’t going to serve a mission for the Church, my total belief in agency wasn’t so rock-solid anymore. I mean, didn’t it just apply to those making “good” choices (you know, the choices I
would make)? Should teenagers really get to make these kinds of decisions for themselves? Just this once ~ can’t I make him understand that my way (or, um, I mean God’s way!) is best?
It took me a while to realize that even though it meant things probably wouldn’t go the way I
had planned, the way I
had envisioned them, if freedom to choose was really God’s way I would fully embrace it, too, and not just for myself but even for my son (and others!).
If you find yourself questioning whether or not agency really is all it’s cracked up to be, especially since realizing your son is not going to serve a mission, you’re not alone. And, better yet, you don’t have to navigate all of your conflicting thoughts and feelings alone. You can find some peace even though you wish your son would change his mind and serve a mission. I would be honored to help you find that peace. If you’d like to chat about it, send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org; I’d love to hear from you!