Self-Doubt

 In better relationship, find peace in parenting

Self-doubt.  It’s definitely a part of parenting.  But did you know it’s also a part of confidence and becoming ~ even in parenting?

Whenever you’re working on something important to you, self-doubt is going to be a part of the process.  Yet sometimes we get confused and believe that if we’re trying to do good things the path should be smooth (or at least smoother than it is).  But what if you’re really entitled to the strength that comes as you overcome the hurdles, including self-doubt?

As we raise our kids there are many times when we look back and doubt decisions we made: 

“Should I have let her be friends with that girl?”

“Should I have sent him to that camp?”

“Should we have left them home that night?”

But all the time we spend wondering if we should have done things differently in the past just ensures we get to stay stuck in self-doubt right now.  Because self-doubt is a choice.  Really.  Stop for a minute and take that in.

Of course, when we are talking about relationships with our children, self-doubt is going to be a part of the experience because no one is a perfect parent and if we could go back and make different decisions, knowing what we know now, we would do some things differently.  But, guess what?  That does not mean you didn’t make the best decision you could when you were right in the middle of it.

So let’s talk about where you are right now in terms of your relationship with your teen.

  • What is your opinion of the obstacles between you and having a better relationship with your teen?

This one is important because your opinion of the obstacles is what determines how much self-doubt you have.

“There’s no way to win with him” vs. “This is his journey and he will figure it out.”

One of these creates self-doubt; the other creates hope.

  • What do you think about yourself when you think about yourself?

You may be wondering what this has to do with your relationship with your teen, but remember, you are one-half of the relationship.

“I always make the wrong decisions in my parenting” vs. “I am the best mom for him.”

One of these creates self-doubt; the other creates confidence.

How you feel is always directly connected to what you’re thinking about the situation, and that’s why it’s so important to figure out what you’re thinking.  If you want to expose your doubts, ask yourself:

  • What kind of relationship do I want to have with my child?

If you’re honest as you answer, you’ll become aware of all the hidden and not-so-hidden doubts you carry around with you.  And even though it might not seem like it ~ that really is a good thing because once you’re aware of your doubts ~ you can change them (if you want to).

This week I challenge you to spend some time discovering your self-doubts by answering these three questions, and then next week’s blog will show you how to overcome the self-doubt that weighs you down in parenting so you grow your confidence instead.

Here are the questions for you to answer, and then be sure to catch next week’s blog to learn how to start replacing your self-doubt with confidence:

  • What is your opinion of the obstacles between you and having a better relationship with your teen?
  • What do you think about yourself when you think about yourself?
  • What kind of relationship do I want to have with my child?
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